Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
