Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
