Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
