dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
