is your mom at the bar?
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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