Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
