I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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