i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
