Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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