Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
nutella sex= disaster
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
