what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
