I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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