yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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