Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
two words...techno handjob
it's like heaven, but drunker
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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