So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
