hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
