it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
