At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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