Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Let the clothes fall where they may.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
