After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Dick very happy bro
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