I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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