u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
