She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
