Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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