I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
