Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
