Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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