omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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