maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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