I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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