Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We had sex on a dog bed..
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize