went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
