if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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