i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
