I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
