we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
