Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
