Yo dont text me then not text me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
