hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize