I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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