The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
