I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize