This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
