saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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