you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize