this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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