I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
There r osticjed everywhere
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize