i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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