mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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