Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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