Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Hippo gnu deer
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
