He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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