he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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