Duck Duck Cougar?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
