do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
