fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
