perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
