Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize