I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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