I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
