I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize