No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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