That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
