No stitches, just platelets and will power
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Randomize
