would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
