i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
