Porn is love you can see.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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